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Published May 30, 2022

For Those Who Died at Home

Written by
Lydia Hoverson
| The Dakotan
A display honoring those who have lost their lives due to suicide from PTSD at Affinity First Federal Credit Union in Minot. [Photo: Lydia Hoverson/The Dakotan]
A display honoring those who have lost their lives due to suicide from PTSD at Affinity First Federal Credit Union in Minot. [Photo: Lydia Hoverson/The Dakotan]

MINOT – There is a display that travels to different places throughout the area that honors those who died because of their service in the military, but not in combat as one might think.

Miranda Schuler, Minot, created the display 8 years ago in honor of veterans who have died by suicide due to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Schuler said she built this display in honor of her brother, Steven Knudson, who served as a cavalry scout in the 10th Mountain Division in Iraq for 3 tours, about four and a half years.

Steven B. Knudson, 28. SGT, US Army. Bottineau, ND. Final rest: November 28, 2010

“He saw some things and did some things that most of us can’t comprehend,” Schuler explained. “And when he came home and got out of service in 2010, he was a changed person. We noticed marked changes in his personality. In 2010, [PTSD] wasn’t something that was talked about a lot. As a family we thought we’d just love him through this and give him the space he needed. He wasn’t home for ten months before he took his own life. That was really hard. We were a really close family. He wasn’t one of those people that you would think would ever do something like that.”

Schuler said her brother told her that while he was clearing a building with others serving with him, an explosive device was thrown into the building, and he lost people in front and behind him. This caused a traumatic brain injury.

“Once I was able to get my feet back under me, I kept thinking, ‘I really need to do something to normalize the conversations, bring some attention and light to the subject, and not let his death be in vain,’” said Schuler.

Schuler said that after much prayer and thought, she had the idea to get 22 pairs of boots as a visual of the amount - at that time - of those who die every day from suicide due to PTSD. After putting out a call on social media for boots in the spring of 2014, Schuler said she started receiving boxes of military boots “from people that were just excited to be a part of the project.” She was also friends on social media with a lot of those who served alongside her brother.

“Steven’s life meant just as much to them as it did to us as his family, because he was their family,” said Schuler. She further explained that she reached her goal of 22 boots within a week and a half after asking for them. The North Dakota National Guard and Minot Air Force Base also contributed.

Since Steven was buried with his boots, a man who served with him asked that his boots represent Steven.

“Matt sent a funny story with the boots,” said Schuler. “Matt paid like $130 for a pair of boots that would be more comfortable, and Steven gave him a really hard time. He sent a whole story with it.”

The display now has a picture attached to each pair of boots and a binder nearby that has more information on each soldier.

A pair of boots set up in honor of Steven Knudson. [Photo: Lydia Hoverson/The Dakotan]

“It’s important to realize it’s more than just a number,” said Schuler. “When you start to see faces and names attached to it, it hits home.”

The display is set up during Memorial Day weekend, PTSD Awareness Day (June 27), and travels to other events in the area, where Schuler is often able to share her brother’s story.

Schuler said there are people from other parts of the country who have set up similar displays.

“It normalizes the conversation, brings awareness, and then helps people who are suffering know that they’re not alone, and that there are people in the community that care,” said Schuler.

Schuler also said that after her brother died by suicide, it changed her perspective on the issue.

“My brother was not a weak person,” Schuler described. “He had medals of valor; he was an exemplary soldier. The people he served with thought so highly of him. Never in our wildest dreams would we have ever guessed that we would lose him in this way.”

The display is currently set up at Affinity First Federal Credit Union in Minot.

lydia.hoverson@mydakotan.com
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